Dynamite in a Can For Those of You Unafraid of Reused Chemicals
whoop ass: when only the best asskicking will do
You can now purchase Whoop Ass in two formulas, Standard Whoop Ass for those everyday fights, and Whoop Ass Extreme, when the odds are stacked against you. Whoop Ass Extreme features our standard proprietary blend of dangerous chemicals and all-natural herbs, plus our newest find, Grizzly Bear Urine Extract. So gulp down a can of Whoop Ass Extreme today and see your enemies run in all directions.
Don't run from trouble anymore, down a can of Whoop Ass or Whoop Ass Extreme and bring it on! Show all those kids from high school that they were wrong about you, well, at least the part about you being a weakling.
whoop ass for you
whoop ass for me
whoop ass for all
how we make it so good
Whoop Ass is made of the best ingredients gathered from around the world, from the South American Beetle Berries and Canadian Snow Geese poop to African wild Rhino tears and American Ascorbic Acid, the makers of Whoop Ass have spared no expense. Formulated in our secret European lab from a proprietary formulae first discovered by German scientists in the early 1930s, Whoop Ass provides 56 necessary vitamins and minerals that other energy drinks do not. In fact, Whoop Ass is so much more than just a mere energy drink that we don't even print that on the label. Partly because we're so much better than the other energy drinks and partly because our lawyers told us not to.
Whoop Ass starts as a party in your mouth and then works its way thru your entire body leaving its loving mark every where it goes. When you just wanna destroy the competition, in the most natural and organic way, then you need look no further than a can of Whoop Ass. And if the competition is really tough, it's time for a can of Whoop Ass Extreme. The safest, most organic way to beat your competition into a pulp.
Whoop ass, it's like a party (where everyone leaves bloody)
what do you think of me now?!
I was under weight in high school and got picked on a lot by the football players and some of the cheerleaders. During lunchtime they stuffed me inside my locker, they poured pig blood on me at the prom and even tried to kill me with a pen in the upper hallway during our 10 year reunion. It wasn't until I discovered Whoop Ass that things started to change for me. After my first can of Whoop Ass, I beat my manager at Kinko's to a bloody pulp. It took seven cops to hold me down when they came to arrest me and another three to get me into the paddy wagon. I no longer have to take shit off of anyone, I just pop a can of Whoop Ass and put my opponents on the mat. And now that they came out with Whoop Ass Extreme, I feel I could take on the entire 1976 Philadelphia Flyers team at once. Whoop Ass, you made me a real man. - Dotty McCallus, Ex-Kinko's employee
I'm already a big guy, but once I drop a Whoop Ass, I. am. good. to. go. And by that I mean, this little can gives me more of a bump than my old Columbian girlfriend. Even after a long meditation, just one sip of WAE and my blood boils, I'm just as angry as shit after a can of this stuff. It goes down easy and mixes well with vodka. Great for all occasions, especially family related get-togethers. - Carl King, body builder/commentator
No one gonna tell me what to do again, do you hear me?! I'm talking to you Little Dog, I will rip off your head, don't push me. I am on Whoop Ass Extreme and nothing gonna stop me now! AAAArrrhh AAyyaahha Aaahhaaarrhh. I feel the light headedness coming on now, and before I pass out, I gotta say this shit is the shit, and I like how you can't OD on this stuff. you can't, right? - Alexander McButlerquest, Vitamin Store Owner
I learned about this stuff from a traveling circus troop, they relied heavily on it. I find that if I stare/yell at the attached animated GIF, then drink four full-size cans of Whoop Ass Extreme, I can levitate my body off the ground. I can also pee lasers. I can see how this stuff might become addictive for some people. I don't have that problem. - Philby NottingHamm III, author/speaker/guitarist